“Okay, I won’t push you. Just keep these handy for when you do think you are ready to take the next step, okay?” Don tried to reassure me that he really would support whatever decision I made. I truly appreciated the fact that he was patient and would give me the time and space I needed to decide when I was ready. Before we separated for the morning, he asked, “Would you like me to come over today?” I nodded ‘yes’, but said nothing. God, I definitely wanted him to come over today. I wanted to be with him again, even if I did not know exactly what with him would entail. “We can talk more about this later, okay? I’ll see you about noon,” Don said before kissing me briefly. I walked to my house, carrying a bag of condoms, trying to decide what I wanted to do; or more importantly, what I needed to do. For the next few hours, I contemplated what I wanted. I was completely torn. I wanted to give myself to Don, totally and completely, but I was scared. I was not really ready for. I told them I was going away somewhere to reflect on what my next move was going to be. I knew of a religious retreat down near Newton Abbott in Devon. A friend of mine had been there a few times to get his head together after his wife passed away unexpectedly. It's a weird place completely cut off from the outside world, no phones or post. When you wish to go there you have to go and knock on the door.Mike insisted that I leave the gun safely locked away in my safe where I always stored it. It would be safe in there, as I was the only one who had the combination.My car loaded, I drove away, the girls and Mike remained to inform Maggie that it was over. I would really have liked to be a fly on the wall when Maggie got home that night.I think I drove a little on the fast side. For simplicity I went down the M4 and M5 arriving at the retreat at two in the morning. The place was in darkness so I reclined my seat and got my head down in the car.I fell asleep much quicker than I thought I.
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